When the answer is NO

How many times do we all reach out in life wanting things to go our way but only find ourselves empty handed?  Or are we - empty handed?  I remember praying for many things as a young teenage girl, only to be met with a simple: "NO".  I'd pout, feel sorry for myself, yell at God about how "unfair" He was being and more than often questioned Him non stop with my "Why?" Why not?" "Can't you see that I NEED THIS to work out MY way!?".  As I got older, my prayers didn't change much.  Instead of saying "I Need", it turned into "It would be NICE if this was a part of your will, and these are the reasons why I think if it's not in your plan that you should consider it"

Sometimes, the best things in life happen when we're not given what we want. We want to stomp our feet and become down hearted when things don't go the way we wish but sometimes "No" is what we need.

I've finally realized that God doesn't cater to our wants and what we think we need.  God has a much better view of the complete picture - we just need to learn how to get a different perspective.  

Hope

John 14:1-4

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Revelation 21:3

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Revelation 21:16-27

The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long. He measured its wall and it was 144 cubits thick, by man's measurement, which the angel was using. The wall was made of jasper and the city of pure gold, as pure as glass. The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the elevent jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of pure gold like transparent glass. I didn't see the a temple in the city because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are it's temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it for the glory of God gives it light and the Lamb is it's lamp.

It sucks when you lose somebody, it sucks even more when you realize that you allowed weeks, months or even years escape you without reaching out to that somebody for whatever excuses you had in your head to justify not keeping in touch. There's simply no great excuse - when you get to the core of the matter.

You can't beat yourself up for that - you can't punish, torture or even question yourself with all the "What if I....", "Why didn't I....." questions that just taunt you into potentially giving into the sadness that is - Missed opportunities or moments that you could have partaken in during that duration of silence.

It's taken me the greatest part of the day to process my feelings and thinking. I debated even posting or blogging about it - cause lets be real - it's a downer when you find yourself reading something that is so heavy laden. Yet I want you to know who my Tia was.

My aunt Irene was known to some as Aunt Irene or Aunt Hilda but to me and my sister and brother she was known to us as simply Tia - which in Spanish means aunt. I never knew my aunts real name until I was a young teenager because we didn't refer to her by name only by title: Tia. She was the eldest daughter in a group of 9 children to my grandparents - hard working field hands that picked beans from fields to earn a living and support their family. When my granddad became a Christ follower and left that life my grandmother took my dad and my uncle out of school around the ages of 12 and 14 to help her pick beans to earn a living.

The thought of my dad and uncle being field workers angered my granddad, so he took both of the boys and entrusted them to their much older sister to care for and raise. . So my tia raised my dad and cared for him as though he was her own. Though she was my father's sister, she treated him much like she was his mother. Along with the territory of caring for him came the protective nature of any mother to child relationship and in her eyes, my dad could never do any wrong. She cherished and loved my dad as much as she loved her very own children and this is the reason why despite her being our aunt she treated us more like grandchildren.

My tia's home was a second home to my sister, brother and I. My dad would often drop us off with her when my mom was working and he had things that he needed to tend to. There were four things that were always a gaurantee when visiting: 1. My tia would be made up- her hair and make up done. She was the first example in my life of what it looked like to be fashionable. I never saw her without her makeup 2. We'd always be fed some delicious Mexican dish. Sometimes I'd sit in the kitchen and watch her help the maid throw things in a pot. The smells of the food seeped into the walls and curtains of her home and the signature smell that you encountered upon entering her home was warm and welcoming. 3. During the spring and early summer the mandarin oranges and lime trees would be in bloom in her back yard and these made the perfect weapon to throw at my sister, brother or cousin. 4. We'd leave spoiled, happy and loved. She often gave us little trinkets or things that she had found at the flea market and on several occasions my sister and I left her home with sample lip sticks that she had from her Avon stash.

God blessed me almost 2 weeks ago with the opportunity to visit with my Tia, despite not having any communication with her over the course of 3 years. I'm thankful that I had a few moments to share my life with her and to show her pictures of Ray and the kids and to be able to bring her a few moments of joy. I'm thankful that I had private time with her to be able to share with her what I believe heaven is and what I believed was waiting for her on the other side. I'm thankful that I could tell her how much I cared for her and to tell her how thankful I was that she was my Tia and that she made me so happy as a child. I'm thankful that even though she couldn't speak, that she squeezed my hand and confirmed that she was listening and that she could understand what I was saying in the last few minutes I had with her.

 It's because of the belief in an afterlife that I am comforted today. However, even that doesn't take away the heartache that is losing a loved one. I'm so VERY THANKFUL that though we were separated for a time on this earth, that the Lord brought us together again before she left and though we'll be separated for a while longer this time, we will see each other again. That in itself is worth hoping for.

Every conversation with my tia ended with her final blessing: "Que Dios Te Bendiga". I know that's what she wanted to say when I kissed her cheek and told her I loved her and that we'd be reunited soon. "I have been blessed" is what my heart felt in that moment - and it's the first and last time I whispered to her "Que Dios Te Bendiga, Tia".

Heaven has to be real because I can't believe that when we die it's the end of our entire existence. It's just in my nature to believe this way and it goes back with me back to early childhood when my sister's kitten died in a tragic roller skating incident (the first vivid memory I have of questioning death and what happens after we die). I choose to believe in what the Bible says about eternity because it's a promise that Jesus made while He was here on this earth. It's the only thing that gets me through times like this. Yes, it's a crutch to some but I'll be the first to admit that I need the crutch that is my Savior because I simply can't be comforted any other way. If people perceive that is weakness I'm perfectly fine with it either way.

Psalm 30:5:
⁵
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

My tia passed away today, she leaves behind everyone who has loved her and cared for her through out these many years and is now reunited with her husband my Tio, my dad, her grand daughter's, daughter in law and many more who have passed before her time. She will be greatly missed.

 

And then there's one....

The stars aligned the day that Jake and Teri met.  After almost 10 months of dating, Jake (who I've known for over 20 years), finally called to let me know that he had asked Teri to marry him and she had said yes.  I could hardly contain my composer over the phone as I expressed how excited and happy I was for him. Ten months later I'm witness, with camera lens to eye, to my childhood friend being united for the very first time in marriage.  The day was unlike any day I've experienced as a wedding photographer. 















 

Lucky Girl!!

Despite all that I've been through in the last week, I consider myself to be one lucky girl. I have been so eager to share my experience with you all from my visit at Smith's Olde Bar on Friday the 21st. Sadly I had to take an emergency trip out of my beautiful state to the desolite landscape of Rio Hando Valley Texas (another story for another time). Had I been able, the following pictures would have been up for all to see within 24 hours.
The Affenders opened up the night in a very big way. I love hearing new bands in the intimate setting that Smith's Olde Bar offers. I've told you all before, if you are in Atlanta, you MUST check out Smith's Olde Bar. The venue is awesome and I've yet to be disappointed! The Affenders are officially the first band that I've photographed in a concert setting (exciting!). The music was great and the experience of bobbing in and out of the crowd to capture the images of the band was so much fun. Everyone in the crowd was loving the music and you could feel the energy and vibe that the band was putting off and it was awesome! I love when a band has a killer drummer and The Affenders definitly do. To top things off and make it super sweet - She's a super cool rocker chick and the girl can keep a beat like no ones buisness. You can check out the awesomeness that is The Affenders by clicking HERE.

It was a huge night for Nine Times Blue as it was the night of their official EP release! I was stoked to be able to show my support of the band by documenting the night for the guys. Thank you Kirk, Greg, Jeff and Jason for putting on an awesome show and for letting me invade your space for a time. The night would not have been possible if Kirk wouldn't have asked me to photograph their show, so for that, I'm HUGELY Thankful! It will be to Kirk's credit - when I say - that I just found another division of photography that I LOVE and I'm looking forward to being able to do this a lot more in the future. All the guys from Nine Times Blue are super cool and I was so excited to be able to meet them all. A huge congrats, for everything they've been able to achieve thus far with their music. It's inspiring to be able to see someone that you know do something they love and do it well. We are all now reaping the enjoyment of their music - so cool. To check out Nine Times Blue click HERE
Here's to another awesome night at Smith's Olde Bar!

The Affenders........

Nine Times Blue......

Hope

John 14:1-4
"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.  I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going."

Revelation 21:3
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Revelation 21:16-27

The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide.  He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long.  He measured its wall and it was 144 cubits thick, by man's measurement, which the angel was using.  The wall was made of jasper and the city of pure gold, as pure as glass.  The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone.  The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the elevent jacinth, the twelfth amethyst.  The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl.  The great street of the city was of pure gold like transparent glass.  I didn't see the a temple in the city because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are it's temple.  The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it for the glory of God gives it light and the Lamb is it's lamp. 


It sucks when you lose somebody, it sucks even more when you realize that you allowed weeks, months or even years escape you without reaching out to that somebody for whatever excuses you had in your head to justify not keeping in touch. There's simply no great excuse - when you get to the core of the matter.

You can't beat yourself up for that - you can't punish, torture or even question yourself with all the "What if I....", "Why didn't I....." questions that just taunt you into potentially giving into the sadness that is - Missed opportunities or moments that you could have partaken in during that duration of silence.

It's taken me the greatest part of the day to process my feelings and thinking. I debated even posting or blogging about it - cause lets be real - it's a downer when you find yourself reading something that is so heavy laden. Yet I want you to know who my Tia was.

My aunt Irene was known to some as Aunt Irene or Aunt Hilda but to me and my sister and brother she was known to us as simply Tia - which in spanish means aunt.  I never  knew my aunts real name until I was a young teenager because we didn't refer to her by name only by title: Tia. She was the eldest daughter in a group of 9 children to my grandparents - hard working field hands that picked beans from fields to earn a living and support their family.  When my grandad became a Christ follower and left that life my grandmother took my dad and my uncle out of school around the ages of 12 and 14 to help her pick beans to earn a living.

The thought of my dad and uncle being field workers angered my grandad, so he took both of the boys and entrusted them to their much older sister to care for and raise. . So my tia raised my dad and cared for him as though he was her own. Though she was my father's sister, she treated him much like she was his mother.  Along with the territory of caring for him came the protective nature of any mother to child relationship and in her eyes, my dad could never do any wrong.  She cherished and loved my dad as much as she loved her very own children and this is the reason why despite her being our aunt she treated us more like grandchildren.

My tia's home was a second home to my sister, brother and I. My dad would often drop us off with her when my mom was working and he had things that he needed to tend to.  There were four things that were always a gaurantee when visiting: 1. My tia would be made up- her hair and make up done. She was the first example in my life of what it looked like to be fashionable.  I never saw her without her makeup 2. We'd always be fed some delicious mexican dish. Sometimes I'd sit in the kitchen and watch her help the maid throw things in a pot. The smells of the food seeped into the walls and curtains of her home and the signature smell that you encountered upon entering her home was warm and welcoming.  3. During the spring and early summer the mandarian oranges and lime trees would be in bloom in her back yard and these made the perfect weapon to throw at my sister, brother or cousin. 4. We'd leave spoiled, happy and loved. She often gave us little trinkets or things that she had found at the flea market and on several occasions my sister and I left her home with sample lip sticks that she had from her Avon stash.

God blessed me almost 2 weeks ago with the opportunity to visit with my Tia, despite not having any communication with her over the course of 3 years. I'm thankful that I had a few moments to share my life with her and to show her pictures of Ray and the kids and to be able to bring her a few moments of joy.  I'm thankful that I had private time with her to be able to share with her what I believe heaven is and what I believed was waiting for her on the other side.  I'm thankful that I could tell her how much I cared for her and to tell her how thankful I was that she was my Tia and that she made me so happy as a child. I'm thankful that even though she couldn't speak, that she squeezed my hand and confirmed that she was listening and that she could understand what I was saying in the last few minutes I had with her.

It's because of the belief in an afterlife that I am comforted today.  However, even that doesn't take away the heartache that is losing a loved one. I'm so VERY THANKFUL that though we were seperated for a time on this earth, that the Lord brought us together again before she left and though we'll be seperated for a while longer this time, we will see each other again.  That in itself is worth hoping for.

Every conversation with my tia ended with her final blessing: "Que Dios Te Bendiga".  I know that's what she wanted to say when I kissed her cheek and told her I loved her and that we'd be reunited soon.  "I have been blessed" is what my heart felt in that moment - and it's the first and last time I whispered to her "Que Dios Te Bendiga, Tia".

Heaven has to be real because I can't believe that when we die it's the end of our entire existence. It's just in my nature to believe this way and it goes back with me back to early childhood when my sister's kitten died in a traggic roller skating incident (the first vivid memory I have of questioning death and what happens after we die).  I choose to believe in what the  Bible says about eternity because it's a promise that Jesus made while He was here on this earth. It's the only thing that gets me through times like this.  Yes, it's a crutch to some but I'll be the first to admit that I need the crutch that is my Savior because I simply can't be comforted any other way.  If people perceive that is weakness I'm perfectly fine with it either way.

Psalm 30:5:

⁵ For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.^[c]
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.


I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning.

My tia passed away today, she leaves behind everyone who has loved her and cared for her through out these many years and is now reunited with her husband my Tio, my dad, her grand daughter's, daughter in law and many more who have passed before her time.  She will be missed greatly.

 

Jennifer & Ryan

Ryan & Jennifer Canales
Poole's Mill Park
November 24, 2012

Wowsers - have things been crazy.  It pretty much took the entire month of January for me to recover from all the craziness of November and December, much for which, I am extremely THANKFUL.

I'm so excited to finally be able to share the photo sessions from the last part of the 2013 year.

We will begin with - Jennifer and Ryan - Wed on November 24th 2012.

I was so happy to be able to spend time with Jennifer and Ryan again.  Driving out to the location I thought back to their wedding day and how happy everyone was and how stunning Jennifer looked in her wedding dress.  I remembered how excited  Ryan was putting on his final details on his suite with his groomsmen and how lovingly he looked at Jennifer throughout the day.

It only occured to me, minutes before my arrival to photograph them, that we had scheduled their photo session on their anniversary date.  Since the previous November, Ryan has achieved the goals that were placed before him, in service to our country and Jennifer has had several accomplishments of her own this past year and is as proud as ever of her man and happily anticipating what the future has in store for them both.

The weather was about 42 degrees on the day of the session, but you would have never known it by the way that they worked together to commemorate their 1 year anniversary in photographs.

Thank you Jennifer and Ryan for being so awesome! 

Now here's a few favorites from the session......

 

Tis the Season

It seams like just a few months ago that we were all crammed close together in my sister's living room in Harlingen Texas.

It's so hard to believe that another year is coming to a close and that we are at the end of Christmas day.

These months have quickly passed and I'm trying to savore every last minute I have to reflect on the great symbolic nature of this day.

My favorite Christmas Carol pretty much sums it all up:

Oh Holy Night
 

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

 

From our home to yours - Merry Christmas and Have a Happy New Year!

 

 

The beauty that is fall: Family Photo Session

Family Photo Session
Near Vickery Creek


Sessions have been awesome this month. Fall is one of my favorite seasons.  Georgia becomes a vivid colorful painting on canvas, portraying the landscape of once green trees turning into beautiful red, yellow, and various shades of orange. It's living art.   My breath is taken away every time I turn a bend in a road and see the beauty that is fall. 

I take drives, whenever I have the time, to find new locations for photography and this location was just perfect. I'm certain that hundreds of people pass this place several times a week and never notice it for the gem that it really is.

Fortunate for me, I was able to contact the nice, gracious owners of the property and was given permission to utilize the site for a family session.  It warmed my heart greatly at their willingness to allow us to intrude for an hour for the sake of photography. I also learned a valuable lesson that you shouldn't be scared to ask a property owner for permission. I will caution you however, to always check the perimeter for unleased pitbulls - an encounter I expierienced the day before scoring this location.  Scaaaaaary!

I was so excited when Jane gave me a call to schedule their family photo session. Ray and I have known Jane and Troy for a while now but have missed out on seeing them as often as we used to. After I left the session I realized how blessed we've been to know them and I was elated at the opportunity of being able to photograph them and their beautiful sweet family.

 

It's so much more.

I woke up this morning not really wanting to go through the vigorous process that I do every year on this day.  The more I thought about it the more silly I felt thinking about how cooking a turkey and a table full of food could ever symbolize the true meaning of this day..... Thankfulness.

It's so much more that I feel than just "thankful", the word itself is just not sufficient enough to express true word of what I feel today.

I am thankful for family and friends, my mom, sister, brothers, Ray, Kendell & Brianna, Maggie, Paul their kids all the old and new relationships that I've been blessed to have this year.   Most importantly however I'm thankful for...

every trial and tribulation
every bad decision that I made that God turned around for good
for Gods strength in lifting me up out of an empty life of ashes to a more vibrant way of living
for every sacrifice
for every time I endured when I wanted to give up knowing that my God was with me
for every tear I had to shed to finally let go
for God's forgiveness and abundant grace and most important sacrifice of all His son Jesus Christ
for God's acceptance of me despite all of my faults and failures
for His meeting me where I was and staying with me where I am and for leading me into my future
for consequences
for blessings
for pain, because without growing pains, where would I be?
for the knowledge and assurance that there is light at the end of tunnel
for love and finally understanding the TRUE meaning of TRUE love

The word "thankful" is just not enough because it's so much more than just that word.

And for these I'm extremely thankful and blessed for they have changed my life forever......

 

 

 

So Thankful! (Back UP)

Portrait Session
Pooles Mill Park

I consider myself so lucky and blessed when clients continue to come back to me over and over again.  I have had the priveldge of seeing these two awesome kids grow up so much over these last several years.  It never stops surprising me how much they grow more and more every year.

Albert and Elizabeth are gorgeous kids but they're even more wonderful on the inside.  Both quiet and reserved but so intelligent, thoughtful and polite.  Thanks you guys for giving me the opportunity to do what I love and thank you for being so awesome at the session!