it's so short. This is my realization today. People say it all the time: "Life is short, live it while you can", "Life is too short, to work in a career that you don't love", or "Here, have another beer, life is too short you've got to have fun while you still can".
I really debated about weather or not it would be a good idea to blog tonight. I've already gone for 2 days without entering a word and yet today on the day when I was planning on blogging about something profound: Life happened.
My life is an open book so here it is: Bad news. My mom is sick. She's a walking time bomb. She could drop dead at any given moment. She's got a blockage in a artery in her neck, a 95% blockage and to make it worse, the doctors think there's other blockages as well, in her heart and possibly in her brain.
I don't know what to say. I'm a woman of faith and a woman of faith "trusts in God with all her heart". A woman of faith, doesn't worry. A woman of faith, doesn't think of the worst things but sets her mind to the positive. Yet here I am, worried, scared, thinking that the worst is bound to happen and realizing how short life really is.
I never thought I'd ever see the day or let alone hear my mother tell me "Trust in God with all your heart". See, my mom was brought up in a "christian" home. She believed in God all throughout her young life, up until she graduated high school. Somewhere, along the way, she says, she "lost her way". She's kept herself lost, up until 3 years ago when she found her way again. The mother I knew prior to that time and the mother that I know now are 2 completely different people. Her ability to surrender and just have faith have changed her life profoundly. And as I'm blubbering over the phone, trying to hide the fact that I'm worried and scared, she senses my concern and only reassures me that everything is going to be alright.
I am the person that reassures people. People come to me all the time and I tell them the same "Trust in God, trust that everything is going to work out for the best". I used that very line just yesterday with a friend. Yet here I am today having to somehow heed my own advise.
My life has been blessed beyond measure, not with material things, but with all the relationships and friendships that I've been able to make in this life. You think that a relationship between a mom and her child is just mandated and required but the truth is that I pulled away from mine several years ago and it wasn't until I experienced the grace of forgiveness that I was able to extend that grace and do something to repair my relationship with my mom.
Since that time things have changed so much, and all I can think of today is how she and I are suppose to have so many more years together to rely on each other, to bounce thoughts off each other, to confide in one another. She's suppose to be there so that I can call her for her advise. We're facing something really ugly right now and I'm struggling to really trust that everything will work out for the best.
Remember that recent blog I posted? I'm in the thick of the trees. You all will soon see that even a woman of faith has hard times too. Some may think it's a crutch but at least I know that even though I'm in the thick of it I'm not alone and in that I find some small comfort.
Love the people in your life and love them well. Love your friends and family while you still have a chance to show them that you care, because life is too short and before you know it, it's over.